God has really been putting this on my heart lately and I can't stop thinking about the world and my role in it but not of it.
Romans 12~ A Living Sacrifice
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Humble Service in the Body of Christ
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Love in Action
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Also...
John 3:17- For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
John 15:19- If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
John 14:19- Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
He's got my ♥
If anyone asks me, I'm happy to tell them all about what makes Dave so amazing and wonderful. Heck, sometimes I tell people even if they don't ask! But usually I'm not one to gush on and on... This time I just have to. I have to share a couple of texts he sent me because they'll help to explain just how I know he's my One.
Last night- "Hawny, I love you. Why are you so good to me all the time? You are a blessing. Claim every promise of God tomorrow and know that you are in my heart and in my prayers. I love you with all my heart and as long as we are on this earth together I want to be with you."
"Sleep well. I love you with all my heart."
Today- "Hawny, do I make you feel like you're still one of my greatest pursuits? I just want you to know I still want you as badly as I did the day I told you I loved you and while we may be familiar with one another now, you are still the greatest adventure I've ever been on. I love you and I want you to know you are precious to me."
"Actually, I need you to know. My life makes sense with you in it. I love you with my whole heart."
He knows the past couple of months have been trying and, while I'm keeping an upbeat and positive outlook overall, he recognizes when I start to slip and slide a little. I don't even have to tell him I'm losing traction; he just senses it and does something to steady me. Sometimes it's flowers for 'no reason' and other times it's a nice date-night in and this time it was these texts.
I love him.
Last night- "Hawny, I love you. Why are you so good to me all the time? You are a blessing. Claim every promise of God tomorrow and know that you are in my heart and in my prayers. I love you with all my heart and as long as we are on this earth together I want to be with you."
"Sleep well. I love you with all my heart."
Today- "Hawny, do I make you feel like you're still one of my greatest pursuits? I just want you to know I still want you as badly as I did the day I told you I loved you and while we may be familiar with one another now, you are still the greatest adventure I've ever been on. I love you and I want you to know you are precious to me."
"Actually, I need you to know. My life makes sense with you in it. I love you with my whole heart."
He knows the past couple of months have been trying and, while I'm keeping an upbeat and positive outlook overall, he recognizes when I start to slip and slide a little. I don't even have to tell him I'm losing traction; he just senses it and does something to steady me. Sometimes it's flowers for 'no reason' and other times it's a nice date-night in and this time it was these texts.
I love him.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Roller Derby
I'm officially a Level 2 skater now :) YAYAYAYAYAY!
To put this in context:
When you first start in roller derby, you are considered a Level 1 skater. If you're just beginning on skates and are trying to get the basic basics down, you're an "Intermediate Level 1". But if you've got the basic basics down but you haven't done derby specific stuff before, you're an "Advanced Level 1". (I was an Advanced Level 1.) After Level 1 is Level 2 which is where you've got the basic moves of derby but you haven't finessed them and you haven't put plays into use. Essentially, it's where you learn how to take the raw skills and turn them into fluid 'moves' and 'plays'. Then it's on up to Level 3 which is the highest and is where you are considered "draftable". This is where, after they've watched you practice for a bit, teams can pick you to join them and then when a bout is coming up you practice with your specific team exclusively and that's who you skate with at the bout. Cherry City Derby Girls (my league) has 4 teams: Thrill Kill Kittens, Dolls of Anarchy, Panty Raiders, and Rydell Belles.
So that's a basic layout of our advancement schedule.
Every 3-6 months or so, they have "Level Up Testing" which is where you can attempt to pass physical and written tests to move up to the next level. This last week was a chance for the Advanced Level 1 girls to test up to Level 2 if they wanted to. Everyone had been working super hard so we all decided to test up. We spent extra time practicing the necessary skills and maneuvers and we held study groups for the rules and regulations. Luckily it paid off big time! We were the first chunkette of girls to ALL PASS together!! We had 7 hours of testing and then a written test (took about 30 minutes or less), spread out over 3 sessions, and today at the league meeting it was announced that our whole group was moving up to Level 2 :D We were SOOOO excited!! There's 12 of us and it was so wonderful to be able to go up in front of the rest of the league and have all of us standing there.
Hopefully, in another 4ish months I'll be posting and saying that I'm a Level 3 skater :)
My goal is to skate in a bout before I have to leave for internship and I think that as long as I keep working at it, I should be able to make that happen.
I'll make sure to tell you all when it is so you can come see me and my team skate if you want :D *hint, hint* LoL!
♥ Love you ♥
To put this in context:
When you first start in roller derby, you are considered a Level 1 skater. If you're just beginning on skates and are trying to get the basic basics down, you're an "Intermediate Level 1". But if you've got the basic basics down but you haven't done derby specific stuff before, you're an "Advanced Level 1". (I was an Advanced Level 1.) After Level 1 is Level 2 which is where you've got the basic moves of derby but you haven't finessed them and you haven't put plays into use. Essentially, it's where you learn how to take the raw skills and turn them into fluid 'moves' and 'plays'. Then it's on up to Level 3 which is the highest and is where you are considered "draftable". This is where, after they've watched you practice for a bit, teams can pick you to join them and then when a bout is coming up you practice with your specific team exclusively and that's who you skate with at the bout. Cherry City Derby Girls (my league) has 4 teams: Thrill Kill Kittens, Dolls of Anarchy, Panty Raiders, and Rydell Belles.
So that's a basic layout of our advancement schedule.
Every 3-6 months or so, they have "Level Up Testing" which is where you can attempt to pass physical and written tests to move up to the next level. This last week was a chance for the Advanced Level 1 girls to test up to Level 2 if they wanted to. Everyone had been working super hard so we all decided to test up. We spent extra time practicing the necessary skills and maneuvers and we held study groups for the rules and regulations. Luckily it paid off big time! We were the first chunkette of girls to ALL PASS together!! We had 7 hours of testing and then a written test (took about 30 minutes or less), spread out over 3 sessions, and today at the league meeting it was announced that our whole group was moving up to Level 2 :D We were SOOOO excited!! There's 12 of us and it was so wonderful to be able to go up in front of the rest of the league and have all of us standing there.
Hopefully, in another 4ish months I'll be posting and saying that I'm a Level 3 skater :)
My goal is to skate in a bout before I have to leave for internship and I think that as long as I keep working at it, I should be able to make that happen.
I'll make sure to tell you all when it is so you can come see me and my team skate if you want :D *hint, hint* LoL!
♥ Love you ♥
Monday, June 28, 2010
It's my first time posting pictures everyone :)
So here's some pictures from a few recent "adventures" Dave and I have gone on :) LoL!
A trip to Ikea
My first trip to "Yocream" and I've been hooked ever since!
Dave's new side-job is to pilot the rocketships at Fred Meyers Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday's cleaning
So I'm trying out a few new cleaning products and I figured I'd give you all my review of them in case you were thinking of trying some of them. Not that I should be your decision-maker on whether or not to buy them but just so you can have the humble opinion of another greenie-in-training ;)
Biokleen Soy Toilet Scrub-
I like it for general maintainance cleaning but I'm not sure how it would perform on stains as (luckily) the people who lived here before me kept the bathroom clean and my roommates and I have been keeping it that way, too.
Seventh Generation Chlorine Free Bleach- Free and Clear-
Worked fantastically on a couple of spots on my white washclothes! I don't know how colorsafe it is but I LOVE that it doesn't smell like regular bleach.
Method Squeeky Clean Dryer Cloths- Sweet Water-
These are my new favorite laundry assistant! I grew up on soft water and didn't realize how much of an impact this had on my laundry until I moved away and I've been searching for something that would make my clothes feel more like I like them since I moved away for undergrad. I tried all sorts of laundry softeners and dryer sheets and hadn't had any luck until I used these lil' guys. You can use each one in at least two loads and I usually use them for three.
Biokleen Soy Toilet Scrub-
I like it for general maintainance cleaning but I'm not sure how it would perform on stains as (luckily) the people who lived here before me kept the bathroom clean and my roommates and I have been keeping it that way, too.
Seventh Generation Chlorine Free Bleach- Free and Clear-
Worked fantastically on a couple of spots on my white washclothes! I don't know how colorsafe it is but I LOVE that it doesn't smell like regular bleach.
Method Squeeky Clean Dryer Cloths- Sweet Water-
These are my new favorite laundry assistant! I grew up on soft water and didn't realize how much of an impact this had on my laundry until I moved away and I've been searching for something that would make my clothes feel more like I like them since I moved away for undergrad. I tried all sorts of laundry softeners and dryer sheets and hadn't had any luck until I used these lil' guys. You can use each one in at least two loads and I usually use them for three.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Well summer started off with a bang :)
I'm sitting in bed, at nine in the morning, drinking a cuppa coffee, and watching the Today Show. It is finally summer! While the weather outside would argue this point with me, I finally feel like the beginning of a break is upon me. This morning I got up, cleaned the kitchen, made a delicious edemame & Romano cheese omelet, and then I cleaned out my bathroom drawers and wiped down the counter. And pretty soon I think I'm going to take a nap :)
Then it's time to work on my dissertation and work out. This is probably how a lot of my days this summer are going to go and I am SO excited for that! I've been running around here and there and everywhere- Indiana for a wedding, Salem to work at the clinic for my dad, the beach for a women's retreat with my church girls, etc... But now it's mostly just little things here and there with breaks in between and lots of days like today.
My long-term goals for the summer (in no particular order):
1) Finish my dissertation
2) Write my internship application essays
3) Grow a successful patio garden
4) Accomplish all of my random house cleaning/maintenance projects
5) Complete at least 5 of my sewing projects
6) Figure out which sites I plan on applying to for internship
7) Conquer my allergies through an all-natural regimen
8) Meet Dave's family in Delaware
9) Pass my skills requirements for roller derby
10) Start a quality scrapbook
11) Help my mom design and create her ideal bedroom
12) Assist my dad in the garden in Salem so we can grow all the yummies we want to
13) Pick, and can or dry or freeze or jammify, as many fruits as possible
14) Go through my entire wardrobe and sell or donate whatever I don't really use
And I'm sure I'll add some more to this list but for now, this is all I can think of, LoL! Alright, time to work on my dissertation a bit and then take a nap (YAY!). I love you all :)
♥
Then it's time to work on my dissertation and work out. This is probably how a lot of my days this summer are going to go and I am SO excited for that! I've been running around here and there and everywhere- Indiana for a wedding, Salem to work at the clinic for my dad, the beach for a women's retreat with my church girls, etc... But now it's mostly just little things here and there with breaks in between and lots of days like today.
My long-term goals for the summer (in no particular order):
1) Finish my dissertation
2) Write my internship application essays
3) Grow a successful patio garden
4) Accomplish all of my random house cleaning/maintenance projects
5) Complete at least 5 of my sewing projects
6) Figure out which sites I plan on applying to for internship
7) Conquer my allergies through an all-natural regimen
8) Meet Dave's family in Delaware
9) Pass my skills requirements for roller derby
10) Start a quality scrapbook
11) Help my mom design and create her ideal bedroom
12) Assist my dad in the garden in Salem so we can grow all the yummies we want to
13) Pick, and can or dry or freeze or jammify, as many fruits as possible
14) Go through my entire wardrobe and sell or donate whatever I don't really use
And I'm sure I'll add some more to this list but for now, this is all I can think of, LoL! Alright, time to work on my dissertation a bit and then take a nap (YAY!). I love you all :)
♥
Sunday, May 9, 2010
A bit of a new direction :)
Well I haven't been blogging much lately for a number of reasons...
1) The last push from Spring Break into Summer Break is pretty brutal in school.
2) I'm becoming more active in my new church
3) Dave and I are building a beautiful relationship together
4) Between classes, finals, projects, practicum, assessments, work, church, and my dissertation, seriously, is there even time for anything else?
5) I feel like if I'm going to write a blog it should be worth the time and effort and it should be all large and polished and what-not.
So now that some of these things have become less (school stuff) and I'm getting used to other things (church stuff) and I'm letting go of cares about number 5, I've decided to start blogging about my latest kick. Being responsible. And by responsible I mean eco-conscious, environmentally careful, socially aware, ethically and morally convicted, constantly thinking about my own impact on the people and animals and things around me.
The biggest change I've noticed so far is in how I shop. I'm a shopaholic, I mean let's just call a spade a spade. I'm a terrible shopping madwoman. And honestly, that's actually never going to change because I just love it and I don't think it's a problem ('wait, isn't that what addicts say about their addictions?!'). But what I have changed is what I buy, or more aptly said, what I don't buy. I've been reading a lot of books and research websites that analyze all sorts of consumer goods and look at everything that goes into getting an item on a store shelf.
And while it is admittedly a bit more expensive up-front, I've decided that: if I can't afford to buy it correctly than I don't need to buy it at all, the irresponsible decisions cost me more in the long run, and if it's something that I can't find a good option for- would I really be able to enjoy the bad one? what do I really honestly need? is that something that I truly would die without?.
I'm not saying that everyone should do this. I'm not trying to scold or sound self-righteous. This is a choice that I have made based on countless hours of research into just what it is I buy and countless hours of self-analysis regarding why I do what I do and why I buy what I buy. While I would be the first one to encourage people to make steps towards being more green-minded, I'm making absolutely sure that I keep my finger-wagging to a minimum, (because honestly, I'll probably say something if you throw away a soda can when there's a recycling bin ten feet away).
My most recent thing has been to research not just the companies but also the ingredients of my make-up and other skin/hair products. I was absolutely disgusted by what I found out (like I literally almost threw up a little when I thought about what I've been putting on my body for it to soak up). Luckily I was almost out of a couple of things so I just purchased the next ones more responsibly but I did have to part with some fairly full bottles of lotion and some less than half-empty containers of make-up. But I didn't want to waste anything ('cause that would be a little anti-productive too) so I told my friends and family friends that I had this stuff and I told them why I was getting rid of it but then said that if they didn't care they could have it all, and I got rid of almost everything. Kind of a weird feeling- handing this stuff that I deemed too toxic for me over to my loved ones but I gave them the information and most of them said they really didn't care and thought it was silly to worry about 'something so little'. And like I said, I'm not going around telling other people they should do exactly what I'm doing. But anywho, that's the current kick I'm on. And I'm putting the link down here for anyone else who wants to check it out.
I'm going to start posting more often- probably usually on my latest green adventure or eco-discovery or tasty nugget of information.
I love you all!
http://planetgreen.discovery.com/fashion-beauty/care2-toxic-beauty-ingredients.html
1) The last push from Spring Break into Summer Break is pretty brutal in school.
2) I'm becoming more active in my new church
3) Dave and I are building a beautiful relationship together
4) Between classes, finals, projects, practicum, assessments, work, church, and my dissertation, seriously, is there even time for anything else?
5) I feel like if I'm going to write a blog it should be worth the time and effort and it should be all large and polished and what-not.
So now that some of these things have become less (school stuff) and I'm getting used to other things (church stuff) and I'm letting go of cares about number 5, I've decided to start blogging about my latest kick. Being responsible. And by responsible I mean eco-conscious, environmentally careful, socially aware, ethically and morally convicted, constantly thinking about my own impact on the people and animals and things around me.
The biggest change I've noticed so far is in how I shop. I'm a shopaholic, I mean let's just call a spade a spade. I'm a terrible shopping madwoman. And honestly, that's actually never going to change because I just love it and I don't think it's a problem ('wait, isn't that what addicts say about their addictions?!'). But what I have changed is what I buy, or more aptly said, what I don't buy. I've been reading a lot of books and research websites that analyze all sorts of consumer goods and look at everything that goes into getting an item on a store shelf.
And while it is admittedly a bit more expensive up-front, I've decided that: if I can't afford to buy it correctly than I don't need to buy it at all, the irresponsible decisions cost me more in the long run, and if it's something that I can't find a good option for- would I really be able to enjoy the bad one? what do I really honestly need? is that something that I truly would die without?.
I'm not saying that everyone should do this. I'm not trying to scold or sound self-righteous. This is a choice that I have made based on countless hours of research into just what it is I buy and countless hours of self-analysis regarding why I do what I do and why I buy what I buy. While I would be the first one to encourage people to make steps towards being more green-minded, I'm making absolutely sure that I keep my finger-wagging to a minimum, (because honestly, I'll probably say something if you throw away a soda can when there's a recycling bin ten feet away).
My most recent thing has been to research not just the companies but also the ingredients of my make-up and other skin/hair products. I was absolutely disgusted by what I found out (like I literally almost threw up a little when I thought about what I've been putting on my body for it to soak up). Luckily I was almost out of a couple of things so I just purchased the next ones more responsibly but I did have to part with some fairly full bottles of lotion and some less than half-empty containers of make-up. But I didn't want to waste anything ('cause that would be a little anti-productive too) so I told my friends and family friends that I had this stuff and I told them why I was getting rid of it but then said that if they didn't care they could have it all, and I got rid of almost everything. Kind of a weird feeling- handing this stuff that I deemed too toxic for me over to my loved ones but I gave them the information and most of them said they really didn't care and thought it was silly to worry about 'something so little'. And like I said, I'm not going around telling other people they should do exactly what I'm doing. But anywho, that's the current kick I'm on. And I'm putting the link down here for anyone else who wants to check it out.
I'm going to start posting more often- probably usually on my latest green adventure or eco-discovery or tasty nugget of information.
I love you all!
http://planetgreen.discovery.com/fashion-beauty/care2-toxic-beauty-ingredients.html
Friday, February 19, 2010
♥ Fantastic News ♥
So I figured this would be the easiest way to get the news to some of my closest friends and family. I have a new boyfriend. LoL, it may not sound like the biggest story of the year, but for me it is :) He's wonderful and I can't wait for you all to meet him! Here's a quick run-down of the facts ;)
His name is Dave and he is 25 years old. He has beautiful brown eyes and dark hair.
We met at a coffeehouse on Saturday and ended up talking for 4.5 hours.
He works as a social worker/case manager/house manager for a group home, for a company in Portland.
He's originally from Delaware and then moved to Indiana to attend Indiana Wesleyan University where he was an RA and graduated in 4 years with his BS in Psychology.
His brother moved out to Oregon and when Dave came to visit he fell in love with the area and moved out here, too.
He plays bass in his church's worship band and occasionally fills in with a lesson when his pastor is out of town.
He makes me laugh all the time because we have the exact same sense of humor and the same random way of tracking and changing subjects mid-conversation.
We both have Inner-Geeks and think it's adorable when the other's IG comes out and plays.
Long story short, he's amazing! :) Who want's to meet him first?
♥
His name is Dave and he is 25 years old. He has beautiful brown eyes and dark hair.
We met at a coffeehouse on Saturday and ended up talking for 4.5 hours.
He works as a social worker/case manager/house manager for a group home, for a company in Portland.
He's originally from Delaware and then moved to Indiana to attend Indiana Wesleyan University where he was an RA and graduated in 4 years with his BS in Psychology.
His brother moved out to Oregon and when Dave came to visit he fell in love with the area and moved out here, too.
He plays bass in his church's worship band and occasionally fills in with a lesson when his pastor is out of town.
He makes me laugh all the time because we have the exact same sense of humor and the same random way of tracking and changing subjects mid-conversation.
We both have Inner-Geeks and think it's adorable when the other's IG comes out and plays.
Long story short, he's amazing! :) Who want's to meet him first?
♥
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Slightly offended
I was watching Rachel Ray today while I was working out, (a show I normally don't have a problem with), but one of the audience Q&A participants asked a great question and I was horrified by the response from the host and co-host.
She stood up and basically said, "Well, due to some problems I've had in the past, I've decided to start saving myself for marriage from now on. *mixed applause* My problem is, when I tell guys I'm getting to know about this, they either think it's a joke or I'm just making them work for it. How can I get them to take me seriously? Because I am."
The hosts, at first, were supportive of this idea, "Well good for you!" But soon they started laughing and were like, "Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem. No guy is going to just believe that off the bat. I mean, good for you by waiting to see if they're really invested, if they really care about you than they should wait for you."
And then things went downhill, "But maybe you two should watch '40 Year Old Virgin' and, like they do the whole 20 date thing, maybe you could do that. Like after 20 dates or after 3 months, you two could *innuendo eyebrows* you know. Then you'd know that they were actually invested in you. But after like a few months, you know, to give them light at the end of the tunnel." *laughter* "Yeah, give them a little something to look forward to."
That was the end of that Q&A.
Seriously?! I felt like they were saying that if a guy hangs around long enough, regardless of the emotions, you should sleep with him because he's earned it. WTH? Something just struck me wrong about this conversation on a 'preparations for Valentine's day' episode of a daytime talk show. A guy should be able to earn sex- or a girl should be able to, for that matter. Personally, I feel like sex is something to be shared, not earned by one party from another. What is this world coming to? Plus, is it only about sex? Shouldn't there be more to look forward to in a relationship than sex? Don't get me wrong, I think that it's a very important part of a loving marriage. But there needs to be more than that... right? Maybe I'm just ignorant about this. I hold no claims as to the knowledge of married life or even dating-with-sex life. I guess it's just my humble opinion; take it as you will.
She stood up and basically said, "Well, due to some problems I've had in the past, I've decided to start saving myself for marriage from now on. *mixed applause* My problem is, when I tell guys I'm getting to know about this, they either think it's a joke or I'm just making them work for it. How can I get them to take me seriously? Because I am."
The hosts, at first, were supportive of this idea, "Well good for you!" But soon they started laughing and were like, "Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem. No guy is going to just believe that off the bat. I mean, good for you by waiting to see if they're really invested, if they really care about you than they should wait for you."
And then things went downhill, "But maybe you two should watch '40 Year Old Virgin' and, like they do the whole 20 date thing, maybe you could do that. Like after 20 dates or after 3 months, you two could *innuendo eyebrows* you know. Then you'd know that they were actually invested in you. But after like a few months, you know, to give them light at the end of the tunnel." *laughter* "Yeah, give them a little something to look forward to."
That was the end of that Q&A.
Seriously?! I felt like they were saying that if a guy hangs around long enough, regardless of the emotions, you should sleep with him because he's earned it. WTH? Something just struck me wrong about this conversation on a 'preparations for Valentine's day' episode of a daytime talk show. A guy should be able to earn sex- or a girl should be able to, for that matter. Personally, I feel like sex is something to be shared, not earned by one party from another. What is this world coming to? Plus, is it only about sex? Shouldn't there be more to look forward to in a relationship than sex? Don't get me wrong, I think that it's a very important part of a loving marriage. But there needs to be more than that... right? Maybe I'm just ignorant about this. I hold no claims as to the knowledge of married life or even dating-with-sex life. I guess it's just my humble opinion; take it as you will.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Just thought I'd share...
So my devotional today really touched my heart and it made me so happy I just wanted to share it with all of you. Here it is:
Are You Exhausted Spiritually?
Exhaustion means that our vital energies are completely worn out and spent. Spiritual exhaustion is never the result of sin, but of service. Whether or not you experience exhaustion will depend on where you get your supplies. Jesus said to Peter, "Feed My sheep," but He gave him nothing with which to feed them (John 21:17). The process of being made broken bread and poured-out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other people's souls until they learn to feed on God. They must drain you completely- to the very last drop. But be careful to replenish your supply, or you will quickly be utterly exhausted. Until others learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus directly, they will have to draw on His life through you. You must literally be their source of supply, until they learn to take their nourishment from God. We owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and sheep, as well as for Him. Have you delivered yourself over to exhaustion because of the way you have been serving God? If so, then renew and rekindle your desires and affections. Examine your reasons for service. Is your source based on your own understanding or is it grounded on the redemption of Jesus Christ? Continually look back to the foundation of your love and affection and remember where your Source of power lies. You have no right to complain, "O Lord, I am so exhausted." He saved and sanctified you to exhaust you. Be exhausted for God, but remember that He is your supply. "All my springs are in you" (Psalm 87:7).
The verse on the side was: The everlasting God...neither faints nor is weary. Isiah 40:28.
This reminds me to work harder and harder for my clients in order to show them God's love through me. For some of my clients, I am the most stabilizing force they have ever known and we only meet for an hour a week. (That is meant compassionately, not arrogantly.) I am their window to a better world where someone cares about them and is actively invested in seeing them improve. And it takes a lot of emotional and mental strength to sit there with them and contain their chaos and try to help them make sense of it. But I love it. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what He has called me to do. So exhaustion is something I should view more as a reward than as failure on my part. I'm tired because I'm working hard to serve, not because I am bad at my job or am 'just a student'. I welcome exhaustion- bring it!
I ♥ my life. And I ♥ you :)
Are You Exhausted Spiritually?
Exhaustion means that our vital energies are completely worn out and spent. Spiritual exhaustion is never the result of sin, but of service. Whether or not you experience exhaustion will depend on where you get your supplies. Jesus said to Peter, "Feed My sheep," but He gave him nothing with which to feed them (John 21:17). The process of being made broken bread and poured-out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other people's souls until they learn to feed on God. They must drain you completely- to the very last drop. But be careful to replenish your supply, or you will quickly be utterly exhausted. Until others learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus directly, they will have to draw on His life through you. You must literally be their source of supply, until they learn to take their nourishment from God. We owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and sheep, as well as for Him. Have you delivered yourself over to exhaustion because of the way you have been serving God? If so, then renew and rekindle your desires and affections. Examine your reasons for service. Is your source based on your own understanding or is it grounded on the redemption of Jesus Christ? Continually look back to the foundation of your love and affection and remember where your Source of power lies. You have no right to complain, "O Lord, I am so exhausted." He saved and sanctified you to exhaust you. Be exhausted for God, but remember that He is your supply. "All my springs are in you" (Psalm 87:7).
The verse on the side was: The everlasting God...neither faints nor is weary. Isiah 40:28.
This reminds me to work harder and harder for my clients in order to show them God's love through me. For some of my clients, I am the most stabilizing force they have ever known and we only meet for an hour a week. (That is meant compassionately, not arrogantly.) I am their window to a better world where someone cares about them and is actively invested in seeing them improve. And it takes a lot of emotional and mental strength to sit there with them and contain their chaos and try to help them make sense of it. But I love it. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what He has called me to do. So exhaustion is something I should view more as a reward than as failure on my part. I'm tired because I'm working hard to serve, not because I am bad at my job or am 'just a student'. I welcome exhaustion- bring it!
I ♥ my life. And I ♥ you :)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Dissy and Lisi
So this one is just kind of a brief update on my life- exciting stuff ;) I know, LoL!
Well today I handed in the first draft of my dissertation for preliminary board review. Let me explain this. It's not my full dissy. It's just the abstract and introduction and methods which are built upon a mix of already existent data & what my research is going to look at & how I'll contribute to the psych world, an explanation of the available research literature, and how my experiment is going to be run, respectively. Yup, 3 sections that took 12 pages to go through. But I completed all of the research for it and wrote it in only two weeks so I'm pretty stinking proud of myself! It was extremely time consuming but it's done :) Yay! And now I don't have to think about it for another week and a half while my RVT prof is going through it. Then it'll be back to the grindstone with it because trust me, this is a really rough draft. But I worked hard and handed it in and now I feel great!
I've also been pretty busy with neuropsych assessment and learning the new assessments and having my competency trials and learning how to interpret them and reading the massive amounts of required readings each week. I love this class so much but I'm not a big fan of the reading load, LoL! I keep reminding myself that it'll all be worth it when I know what I'm doing at next year's practicum site in regards to neuropsych testing of clients...
Which brings me to my next point. We're all starting to plan for our practicum sites next year and I'm looking at a medical site to round out my CV (the crazy resume/curriculum vita for internship applications). So I'll be sending in applications and having interviews here this month and into next month. Good thing all of my fancy pants and snazzy tops are dry cleaned or washed and pressed ;)
And I'm actually keeping up with my Life is Simple binder- or Lisi, as I call her. It may sound silly but I feel like giving her a name has made her more friendly and less scary or demanding. I adore her :) and I'm learning new ways to utilize her. I add and subtract things that she carries for me, I add little decorations and pretties to her, and I keep her close by almost all the time.
So that's where I am right now. Trying to keep up with school and friends and family. Tomorrow night is Friendly Dinner :D I can't wait!
Well today I handed in the first draft of my dissertation for preliminary board review. Let me explain this. It's not my full dissy. It's just the abstract and introduction and methods which are built upon a mix of already existent data & what my research is going to look at & how I'll contribute to the psych world, an explanation of the available research literature, and how my experiment is going to be run, respectively. Yup, 3 sections that took 12 pages to go through. But I completed all of the research for it and wrote it in only two weeks so I'm pretty stinking proud of myself! It was extremely time consuming but it's done :) Yay! And now I don't have to think about it for another week and a half while my RVT prof is going through it. Then it'll be back to the grindstone with it because trust me, this is a really rough draft. But I worked hard and handed it in and now I feel great!
I've also been pretty busy with neuropsych assessment and learning the new assessments and having my competency trials and learning how to interpret them and reading the massive amounts of required readings each week. I love this class so much but I'm not a big fan of the reading load, LoL! I keep reminding myself that it'll all be worth it when I know what I'm doing at next year's practicum site in regards to neuropsych testing of clients...
Which brings me to my next point. We're all starting to plan for our practicum sites next year and I'm looking at a medical site to round out my CV (the crazy resume/curriculum vita for internship applications). So I'll be sending in applications and having interviews here this month and into next month. Good thing all of my fancy pants and snazzy tops are dry cleaned or washed and pressed ;)
And I'm actually keeping up with my Life is Simple binder- or Lisi, as I call her. It may sound silly but I feel like giving her a name has made her more friendly and less scary or demanding. I adore her :) and I'm learning new ways to utilize her. I add and subtract things that she carries for me, I add little decorations and pretties to her, and I keep her close by almost all the time.
So that's where I am right now. Trying to keep up with school and friends and family. Tomorrow night is Friendly Dinner :D I can't wait!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Yay for Fridays!
I think Fridays are going to be one of my favorite days of the week this semester, not just because they kick-off the weekend, but because of the things on my agenda for them.
Today, for example, I went for a run with Chloe- a classmate who lives in Portland but stays over at my place in Newberg on Thursday nights. She's amazing :) She invited me on her run knowing full well that I'm not a runner and although I warned her ahead of time, still took me along. It was a good, hilly, kicked-my-butt, 45-minutes-straight, run. I was so proud of myself though, LoL, 'cause I only had to walk up the last hill. I totally kept up with her and pushed myself to ignore my body's wish to quit or at least slow down and felt so good when I got home.
Then after a quick shower and an attempt to make myself 'Friday Casual', (dark and nice jeans, my favorite teal argyle sweater, pointy-toed dressy black shoes, usual makeup, hair dryed straight, jewelry that is matching-ish to itself, and my nicer book/computer bag), I headed out the door for a meeting with a professor and classmate about our project and we got a "Good Job!" from our professor- yay! He loved our lit review, (which I spent a total of at least 5 hours compiling), thought our survey we created was excellent, and gave us the go-ahead to start distributing our survey and gathering information.
Next, I was off to St. Paul to start my new 1/2 practicum; I added it on top of my usual practicum so even though I totally love that place, I can only really make it a 1/2 prac- not enough hours in the day. But it was wonderful to be back there and I went around and observed some of my kiddos from last year and made a contact with a new counseling kid and got to reconnect with some of the staff. Loved it!!
And back home for some cleaning of the kitchen and picking up of my room. Then I enjoyed a cup of coffee on my bed with Riesling in my lap while I read my morning devotional and started some class-readings, (out loud, of course, so that Riesling could learn, too, LoL!).
Time for class! I went to my Neuropsychological Assessments class and it's one of the most interesting classes taught by one of my favorite professors so even though it looks like it'll have some legit challenges to it, I'm SO excited to get to digging into the material!
Then I was headed home again, hahaha! I baked some crumpets, cleaned the bathroom, and straightened up the living room for Kristin's and my 'Tea Party'. Yup, we had a girls only, BYOM (bring your own mug), crumpet eating, tea party. LoL! It was so, so, so much fun :)
Today, for example, I went for a run with Chloe- a classmate who lives in Portland but stays over at my place in Newberg on Thursday nights. She's amazing :) She invited me on her run knowing full well that I'm not a runner and although I warned her ahead of time, still took me along. It was a good, hilly, kicked-my-butt, 45-minutes-straight, run. I was so proud of myself though, LoL, 'cause I only had to walk up the last hill. I totally kept up with her and pushed myself to ignore my body's wish to quit or at least slow down and felt so good when I got home.
Then after a quick shower and an attempt to make myself 'Friday Casual', (dark and nice jeans, my favorite teal argyle sweater, pointy-toed dressy black shoes, usual makeup, hair dryed straight, jewelry that is matching-ish to itself, and my nicer book/computer bag), I headed out the door for a meeting with a professor and classmate about our project and we got a "Good Job!" from our professor- yay! He loved our lit review, (which I spent a total of at least 5 hours compiling), thought our survey we created was excellent, and gave us the go-ahead to start distributing our survey and gathering information.
Next, I was off to St. Paul to start my new 1/2 practicum; I added it on top of my usual practicum so even though I totally love that place, I can only really make it a 1/2 prac- not enough hours in the day. But it was wonderful to be back there and I went around and observed some of my kiddos from last year and made a contact with a new counseling kid and got to reconnect with some of the staff. Loved it!!
And back home for some cleaning of the kitchen and picking up of my room. Then I enjoyed a cup of coffee on my bed with Riesling in my lap while I read my morning devotional and started some class-readings, (out loud, of course, so that Riesling could learn, too, LoL!).
Time for class! I went to my Neuropsychological Assessments class and it's one of the most interesting classes taught by one of my favorite professors so even though it looks like it'll have some legit challenges to it, I'm SO excited to get to digging into the material!
Then I was headed home again, hahaha! I baked some crumpets, cleaned the bathroom, and straightened up the living room for Kristin's and my 'Tea Party'. Yup, we had a girls only, BYOM (bring your own mug), crumpet eating, tea party. LoL! It was so, so, so much fun :)
*sigh*
I ♥ Fridays!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I'd like some cheese to go with this whine, LoL!
So being a grad student and working means that there is precious little time to go out and scout out any potential boyfriends. Plus, the program that I'm in is designed to keep us all together and therefore it restricts any interactions with other students at school. The times that I do go out with my friends it's usually late on a Friday or Saturday night, we go dancing, and we hit up a bar or two... While I have a good time and enjoy flirting and being a goofball, I don't really drink and I don't make out with random strangers. This, plus that fact that most people at the bar are not looking for the same things I am, makes dating people I find at bars pretty much un-doable.
I feel like I'm trapped. I'm working on finding different ways to meet new people and make new friends but the latest endeavors have proved unsuccessful. Is it too much to ask for a Christian gentleman who I find attractive? I've found some that are one or two of those things but I have yet to find someone who's all three... There's obviously more points that compile each of the those listings but I feel that even when I flex a little on the smaller things, there's just no one out there. Part of me is saying, "Don't set your standards too high!" and another part is saying, "Don't settle for less!" I just don't want to be the crazy old cat lady who talks to herself...
I look around and I see some of my friends getting married and starting families and while I know that I'm not at a place in my life where I'm ready to get married, it would be nice to at least have a boyfriend. Someone to cook dinner for and then snuggle up on the couch with. A caring ear to listen about my stresses and strong arms to hug me and make them all seem less important. It's frustrating to know what the problem is, know how to solve it, but be unable to actually go about solving it- I am lonely, I would like to meet new people and find a boyfriend, I can do that by getting out and engaging in more social activities, however there are no random social activities around me (with new people) and I don't have much free time even if there were.
I know that there are worse things in the world to deal with and I'm very thankful that this is my biggest problem right now, but that doesn't help me to feel any better about it. Hopefully this cloud will lift soon but for now I guess I'll just put on that smile and focus on helping out with problems that are worse than mine...
I think I just miss being in love.
I feel like I'm trapped. I'm working on finding different ways to meet new people and make new friends but the latest endeavors have proved unsuccessful. Is it too much to ask for a Christian gentleman who I find attractive? I've found some that are one or two of those things but I have yet to find someone who's all three... There's obviously more points that compile each of the those listings but I feel that even when I flex a little on the smaller things, there's just no one out there. Part of me is saying, "Don't set your standards too high!" and another part is saying, "Don't settle for less!" I just don't want to be the crazy old cat lady who talks to herself...
I look around and I see some of my friends getting married and starting families and while I know that I'm not at a place in my life where I'm ready to get married, it would be nice to at least have a boyfriend. Someone to cook dinner for and then snuggle up on the couch with. A caring ear to listen about my stresses and strong arms to hug me and make them all seem less important. It's frustrating to know what the problem is, know how to solve it, but be unable to actually go about solving it- I am lonely, I would like to meet new people and find a boyfriend, I can do that by getting out and engaging in more social activities, however there are no random social activities around me (with new people) and I don't have much free time even if there were.
I know that there are worse things in the world to deal with and I'm very thankful that this is my biggest problem right now, but that doesn't help me to feel any better about it. Hopefully this cloud will lift soon but for now I guess I'll just put on that smile and focus on helping out with problems that are worse than mine...
I think I just miss being in love.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
New Year's New Plans
So first of all, I don't really like using the term 'New Year's Resolution' because I feel like it has a negative connotation. Like by calling it that, people assume you plan on failing at it. That's why I call mine my New Year's New Plans. Just thought I'd share them with you all... Most are serious but some are funny and either way hopefully they put a smile on your face and maybe inspire you to go after some of your own goals this year :) Oh, and if any of you have any advice on these, please feel free to leave a comment- I would honestly appreciate it!
1) Apply myself more in everything I do.
This covers school and practicum and work and every other aspect of my life, (those are some of the most time consuming though).
At prac, I'm adding more clients to my caseload there until I have a completely full 8 hours a day of sessions whereas I used to only have about 5 a day. My goal is to prove to them that I am: knowledgeable, skilled, personable, and thankful.
In classes, I'm going to make at least one comment during the course of a class- without fail. Even if it means I simply agree with something that was said and add my two cents on, the professors will know that I'm participating. And I'm going to make an effort to not be on my computer doing things that don't pertain to the lecture as much during class...this might be a little tricky because my school-induced ADD actually diminishes when I can listen to a lecture and work on other things but since my professors don't know that (and probably wouldn't believe it) I'm going to try to minimize that. Also, I'm going to make it a point to take just about any opportunity offered to me by the faculty and older students. On that note, I'm also going to start jumping in and helping out as many research projects as I can.
With my personal life, I want to make sure that I'm loving all of my friends and family as much as I can. I am going to redouble my efforts to invite people over for my weekly 'Friendly Dinner', (where I cook a bunch of food and have people over and we sit around the table and chat and then either study together or play a group game- like a family dinner night but we're friends, hence the name, LoL). I will do everything I can to make sure that my house is always warm and welcoming, (which is a little difficult when you share a place with 3 other people who aren't really social and don't even decorate their own rooms let alone the common areas and often don't like to clean anything). And I especially hope to make sure that I help people whenever possible. A ride to the airport? No problem! Some help moving boxes? I'm there! Need some homemade cookies waiting on your doorstep after you've had a bad day? I'm your girl!
2) Organize my life.
I've always been one for organization but it's been a little haphazard and born out of desire not necessity. But if I plan on having a chance at succeeding with my first New Plan, I will HAVE to be organized. I started implementing some changes over Christmas break and I'm excited to see them put to good use! From a Life Organizer binder I put together to the new filing system I have for different types of documents, this should be great :) I even bought a label maker!!
3) Work on forgiving and forgetting wrongdoings. Even my own.
I hold myself to a high standard and by default I hold everyone else to that, too. But I need to work on being patient with people and letting them figure things out in their own time. I really try hard not to hold grudges but I still feel that bitter taste creep into my mouth when I talk about whatever happened or see that person and if I'm not careful, I start spewing mean things. So I'm going to work on actually wiping the slate clean and starting over with people.
Right now it's like a whiteboard when you write on it and the eraser leaves the faint outline of the words when you try to clean it but I'm going to work on actually getting it clean to the point where you can't see what was there before. And I'm going to do this with myself, also. Often I hold on to my mistakes and wonder what might have happened had I not messed up but I'm realizing more and more that the best thing to do is to take what you learned from it and chuck out the rest. (This includes times when I might not be doing so well keeping my New Plans, hahaha!)
4) Find an FH.
Those of you who know me and my sister pretty well know what an FH is but I'll fill everyone else in on this; an FH is a Future Husband. Now I have no plans on getting married this year or anything like that- heck I don't even have a boyfriend at this point, LoL! But I'm done with the 'dating for the sake of dating' scene. Call me old-fashioned but I'm hoping to get back to some real dating, with some structure and meaningfulness. From here on out I'm going to be very purposeful with my romantic decisions and trust that God will put a good man in my path. This also means that I'm going to work on my relationship with God so that I can be a better single woman of faith. Hopefully I'll improve on my singlehood so that when my FH shows up, not only will I know it but we'll be ready for each other.
5) Drink less coffee and take more bubble baths.
Ok, so maybe not an actual bubble bath, (I don't have a tub, LoL!), and maybe I'll just switch to decaf instead of actually giving up coffee, (because I really love the taste of it, hahaha!), but you all know what I mean. I feel like I'm always trying to force myself to have more energy and do more things and keep moving when the best thing I can do is treat myself well and let all of the energy and drive come out on its own. One thing I made sure to do was schedule a little treat for myself every couple of days in my Life Organizer- paint my nails or do a facial or deep condition my hair, stuff like that. I only have one body and if I expect it to do everything I ask, I need to make sure it's well loved and taken care of.
Alright, if I think of any more I'll post them later- (I bet you all are just giddy with anticipation, NOT! Hahaha!) But for now these are my plans. My New Year's New Plans.
Love you all!
♥
1) Apply myself more in everything I do.
This covers school and practicum and work and every other aspect of my life, (those are some of the most time consuming though).
At prac, I'm adding more clients to my caseload there until I have a completely full 8 hours a day of sessions whereas I used to only have about 5 a day. My goal is to prove to them that I am: knowledgeable, skilled, personable, and thankful.
In classes, I'm going to make at least one comment during the course of a class- without fail. Even if it means I simply agree with something that was said and add my two cents on, the professors will know that I'm participating. And I'm going to make an effort to not be on my computer doing things that don't pertain to the lecture as much during class...this might be a little tricky because my school-induced ADD actually diminishes when I can listen to a lecture and work on other things but since my professors don't know that (and probably wouldn't believe it) I'm going to try to minimize that. Also, I'm going to make it a point to take just about any opportunity offered to me by the faculty and older students. On that note, I'm also going to start jumping in and helping out as many research projects as I can.
With my personal life, I want to make sure that I'm loving all of my friends and family as much as I can. I am going to redouble my efforts to invite people over for my weekly 'Friendly Dinner', (where I cook a bunch of food and have people over and we sit around the table and chat and then either study together or play a group game- like a family dinner night but we're friends, hence the name, LoL). I will do everything I can to make sure that my house is always warm and welcoming, (which is a little difficult when you share a place with 3 other people who aren't really social and don't even decorate their own rooms let alone the common areas and often don't like to clean anything). And I especially hope to make sure that I help people whenever possible. A ride to the airport? No problem! Some help moving boxes? I'm there! Need some homemade cookies waiting on your doorstep after you've had a bad day? I'm your girl!
2) Organize my life.
I've always been one for organization but it's been a little haphazard and born out of desire not necessity. But if I plan on having a chance at succeeding with my first New Plan, I will HAVE to be organized. I started implementing some changes over Christmas break and I'm excited to see them put to good use! From a Life Organizer binder I put together to the new filing system I have for different types of documents, this should be great :) I even bought a label maker!!
3) Work on forgiving and forgetting wrongdoings. Even my own.
I hold myself to a high standard and by default I hold everyone else to that, too. But I need to work on being patient with people and letting them figure things out in their own time. I really try hard not to hold grudges but I still feel that bitter taste creep into my mouth when I talk about whatever happened or see that person and if I'm not careful, I start spewing mean things. So I'm going to work on actually wiping the slate clean and starting over with people.
Right now it's like a whiteboard when you write on it and the eraser leaves the faint outline of the words when you try to clean it but I'm going to work on actually getting it clean to the point where you can't see what was there before. And I'm going to do this with myself, also. Often I hold on to my mistakes and wonder what might have happened had I not messed up but I'm realizing more and more that the best thing to do is to take what you learned from it and chuck out the rest. (This includes times when I might not be doing so well keeping my New Plans, hahaha!)
4) Find an FH.
Those of you who know me and my sister pretty well know what an FH is but I'll fill everyone else in on this; an FH is a Future Husband. Now I have no plans on getting married this year or anything like that- heck I don't even have a boyfriend at this point, LoL! But I'm done with the 'dating for the sake of dating' scene. Call me old-fashioned but I'm hoping to get back to some real dating, with some structure and meaningfulness. From here on out I'm going to be very purposeful with my romantic decisions and trust that God will put a good man in my path. This also means that I'm going to work on my relationship with God so that I can be a better single woman of faith. Hopefully I'll improve on my singlehood so that when my FH shows up, not only will I know it but we'll be ready for each other.
5) Drink less coffee and take more bubble baths.
Ok, so maybe not an actual bubble bath, (I don't have a tub, LoL!), and maybe I'll just switch to decaf instead of actually giving up coffee, (because I really love the taste of it, hahaha!), but you all know what I mean. I feel like I'm always trying to force myself to have more energy and do more things and keep moving when the best thing I can do is treat myself well and let all of the energy and drive come out on its own. One thing I made sure to do was schedule a little treat for myself every couple of days in my Life Organizer- paint my nails or do a facial or deep condition my hair, stuff like that. I only have one body and if I expect it to do everything I ask, I need to make sure it's well loved and taken care of.
Alright, if I think of any more I'll post them later- (I bet you all are just giddy with anticipation, NOT! Hahaha!) But for now these are my plans. My New Year's New Plans.
Love you all!
♥
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