Yay for Fridays!

I think Fridays are going to be one of my favorite days of the week this semester, not just because they kick-off the weekend, but because of the things on my agenda for them.

Today, for example, I went for a run with Chloe- a classmate who lives in Portland but stays over at my place in Newberg on Thursday nights. She's amazing :) She invited me on her run knowing full well that I'm not a runner and although I warned her ahead of time, still took me along. It was a good, hilly, kicked-my-butt, 45-minutes-straight, run. I was so proud of myself though, LoL, 'cause I only had to walk up the last hill. I totally kept up with her and pushed myself to ignore my body's wish to quit or at least slow down and felt so good when I got home.
Then after a quick shower and an attempt to make myself 'Friday Casual', (dark and nice jeans, my favorite teal argyle sweater, pointy-toed dressy black shoes, usual makeup, hair dryed straight, jewelry that is matching-ish to itself, and my nicer book/computer bag), I headed out the door for a meeting with a professor and classmate about our project and we got a "Good Job!" from our professor- yay! He loved our lit review, (which I spent a total of at least 5 hours compiling), thought our survey we created was excellent, and gave us the go-ahead to start distributing our survey and gathering information.
Next, I was off to St. Paul to start my new 1/2 practicum; I added it on top of my usual practicum so even though I totally love that place, I can only really make it a 1/2 prac- not enough hours in the day. But it was wonderful to be back there and I went around and observed some of my kiddos from last year and made a contact with a new counseling kid and got to reconnect with some of the staff. Loved it!!
And back home for some cleaning of the kitchen and picking up of my room. Then I enjoyed a cup of coffee on my bed with Riesling in my lap while I read my morning devotional and started some class-readings, (out loud, of course, so that Riesling could learn, too, LoL!).
Time for class! I went to my Neuropsychological Assessments class and it's one of the most interesting classes taught by one of my favorite professors so even though it looks like it'll have some legit challenges to it, I'm SO excited to get to digging into the material!
Then I was headed home again, hahaha! I baked some crumpets, cleaned the bathroom, and straightened up the living room for Kristin's and my 'Tea Party'. Yup, we had a girls only, BYOM (bring your own mug), crumpet eating, tea party. LoL! It was so, so, so much fun :)

*sigh*

I ♥ Fridays!

I'd like some cheese to go with this whine, LoL!

So being a grad student and working means that there is precious little time to go out and scout out any potential boyfriends. Plus, the program that I'm in is designed to keep us all together and therefore it restricts any interactions with other students at school. The times that I do go out with my friends it's usually late on a Friday or Saturday night, we go dancing, and we hit up a bar or two... While I have a good time and enjoy flirting and being a goofball, I don't really drink and I don't make out with random strangers. This, plus that fact that most people at the bar are not looking for the same things I am, makes dating people I find at bars pretty much un-doable.
I feel like I'm trapped. I'm working on finding different ways to meet new people and make new friends but the latest endeavors have proved unsuccessful. Is it too much to ask for a Christian gentleman who I find attractive? I've found some that are one or two of those things but I have yet to find someone who's all three... There's obviously more points that compile each of the those listings but I feel that even when I flex a little on the smaller things, there's just no one out there. Part of me is saying, "Don't set your standards too high!" and another part is saying, "Don't settle for less!" I just don't want to be the crazy old cat lady who talks to herself...
I look around and I see some of my friends getting married and starting families and while I know that I'm not at a place in my life where I'm ready to get married, it would be nice to at least have a boyfriend. Someone to cook dinner for and then snuggle up on the couch with. A caring ear to listen about my stresses and strong arms to hug me and make them all seem less important. It's frustrating to know what the problem is, know how to solve it, but be unable to actually go about solving it- I am lonely, I would like to meet new people and find a boyfriend, I can do that by getting out and engaging in more social activities, however there are no random social activities around me (with new people) and I don't have much free time even if there were.
I know that there are worse things in the world to deal with and I'm very thankful that this is my biggest problem right now, but that doesn't help me to feel any better about it. Hopefully this cloud will lift soon but for now I guess I'll just put on that smile and focus on helping out with problems that are worse than mine...

I think I just miss being in love.

New Year's New Plans

So first of all, I don't really like using the term 'New Year's Resolution' because I feel like it has a negative connotation. Like by calling it that, people assume you plan on failing at it. That's why I call mine my New Year's New Plans. Just thought I'd share them with you all... Most are serious but some are funny and either way hopefully they put a smile on your face and maybe inspire you to go after some of your own goals this year :) Oh, and if any of you have any advice on these, please feel free to leave a comment- I would honestly appreciate it!

1) Apply myself more in everything I do.
This covers school and practicum and work and every other aspect of my life, (those are some of the most time consuming though).
At prac, I'm adding more clients to my caseload there until I have a completely full 8 hours a day of sessions whereas I used to only have about 5 a day. My goal is to prove to them that I am: knowledgeable, skilled, personable, and thankful.
In classes, I'm going to make at least one comment during the course of a class- without fail. Even if it means I simply agree with something that was said and add my two cents on, the professors will know that I'm participating. And I'm going to make an effort to not be on my computer doing things that don't pertain to the lecture as much during class...this might be a little tricky because my school-induced ADD actually diminishes when I can listen to a lecture and work on other things but since my professors don't know that (and probably wouldn't believe it) I'm going to try to minimize that. Also, I'm going to make it a point to take just about any opportunity offered to me by the faculty and older students. On that note, I'm also going to start jumping in and helping out as many research projects as I can.
With my personal life, I want to make sure that I'm loving all of my friends and family as much as I can. I am going to redouble my efforts to invite people over for my weekly 'Friendly Dinner', (where I cook a bunch of food and have people over and we sit around the table and chat and then either study together or play a group game- like a family dinner night but we're friends, hence the name, LoL). I will do everything I can to make sure that my house is always warm and welcoming, (which is a little difficult when you share a place with 3 other people who aren't really social and don't even decorate their own rooms let alone the common areas and often don't like to clean anything). And I especially hope to make sure that I help people whenever possible. A ride to the airport? No problem! Some help moving boxes? I'm there! Need some homemade cookies waiting on your doorstep after you've had a bad day? I'm your girl!

2) Organize my life.
I've always been one for organization but it's been a little haphazard and born out of desire not necessity. But if I plan on having a chance at succeeding with my first New Plan, I will HAVE to be organized. I started implementing some changes over Christmas break and I'm excited to see them put to good use! From a Life Organizer binder I put together to the new filing system I have for different types of documents, this should be great :) I even bought a label maker!!

3) Work on forgiving and forgetting wrongdoings. Even my own.
I hold myself to a high standard and by default I hold everyone else to that, too. But I need to work on being patient with people and letting them figure things out in their own time. I really try hard not to hold grudges but I still feel that bitter taste creep into my mouth when I talk about whatever happened or see that person and if I'm not careful, I start spewing mean things. So I'm going to work on actually wiping the slate clean and starting over with people.
Right now it's like a whiteboard when you write on it and the eraser leaves the faint outline of the words when you try to clean it but I'm going to work on actually getting it clean to the point where you can't see what was there before. And I'm going to do this with myself, also. Often I hold on to my mistakes and wonder what might have happened had I not messed up but I'm realizing more and more that the best thing to do is to take what you learned from it and chuck out the rest. (This includes times when I might not be doing so well keeping my New Plans, hahaha!)

4) Find an FH.
Those of you who know me and my sister pretty well know what an FH is but I'll fill everyone else in on this; an FH is a Future Husband. Now I have no plans on getting married this year or anything like that- heck I don't even have a boyfriend at this point, LoL! But I'm done with the 'dating for the sake of dating' scene. Call me old-fashioned but I'm hoping to get back to some real dating, with some structure and meaningfulness. From here on out I'm going to be very purposeful with my romantic decisions and trust that God will put a good man in my path. This also means that I'm going to work on my relationship with God so that I can be a better single woman of faith. Hopefully I'll improve on my singlehood so that when my FH shows up, not only will I know it but we'll be ready for each other.

5) Drink less coffee and take more bubble baths.
Ok, so maybe not an actual bubble bath, (I don't have a tub, LoL!), and maybe I'll just switch to decaf instead of actually giving up coffee, (because I really love the taste of it, hahaha!), but you all know what I mean. I feel like I'm always trying to force myself to have more energy and do more things and keep moving when the best thing I can do is treat myself well and let all of the energy and drive come out on its own. One thing I made sure to do was schedule a little treat for myself every couple of days in my Life Organizer- paint my nails or do a facial or deep condition my hair, stuff like that. I only have one body and if I expect it to do everything I ask, I need to make sure it's well loved and taken care of.


Alright, if I think of any more I'll post them later- (I bet you all are just giddy with anticipation, NOT! Hahaha!) But for now these are my plans. My New Year's New Plans.


Love you all!
♥

Finals Week...

So I have to credit my pastor back at WSU for this one. I miss that guy; truly a man with a heart after God! :)


’TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE FINALS AT WSU

’Twas the night before finals at WSU,
This once quiet campus has become chaotic zoo,
There was moaning and groaning, all through the college,
Students were praying for last minute knowledge,
Most were exhausted and sleepy, yet none touched their beds,
As visions of essays danced in their heads.

Across campus no cheer squad, no pep band, no Butch to be found,
But darkness and coldness and snow did abound.
Whether Stephenson or Coman or Goldsworthy Hall,
Students, anxious and stressed, were cramming, in them all.
Their books were spread on their tables with care,
In hopes that skill and ability would suddenly be there.

I, in my room, had been franticly pacing,
Dreading those exams that I soon would be facing.
My roommate not speaking, her nose in her books,
And my comments to her drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were all shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.
“Some pizza might help,” I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I’d nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades made in school.

When all of a sudden, the door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.
He wore a white toga, his manner was mellow,
His spirit was careless, he started to bellow:
“What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers, what they first tossed at us?

On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On Last Year's Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and Last Minute Crams!
From the top of Bryan Tower , down Glenn Terrell Mall,
From Johnson to Wilson to Abelson Hall.
Those papers and projects, be they large or small,
Hand them in, toss them in, be done with them all.”

Having said what he said, he turned with a jerk,
For there was much to do, we both had our work.
His message delivered, he was gone from our sight,
Then we heard him exclaim outside in the night.
“Get after your studies and give it your best.
Happy Finals to all, and to all, a good test!”

How many tears does it take to rip the fabric?

So lately I've been feeling a little torn and lost in my world. I know it's a small thing to be dealing with and that there are so many other bigger problems in the world but this is my blog and if I want to struggle through things here, I can. So there. *hands on hips* ;)

I feel like there's two different themes running through my brain and I'm not succeeding in being both and I can't pick one. One says that I need to be me and enjoy life and not live with regrets. The other says I need to be the best student I can be and spend all of my free time studying to get ahead of everyone so that I can get a good internship. I've been trying to balance them and I thought I was doing well but then I look at some of the other people in my class and they are either one or the other. Nobody really has the 'both' thing down. And that makes me question whether or not I can do it. Any suggestions?


On a lighter note, this week I not only finished decorating my townhouse but I baked some cookies and wrapped presents. And today I'm headed to SalemHome to help my momma clean and decorate and get food ready for their Pinochle group that's coming over on Saturday night. After that, it's time for Christmas party with some friends~ Yay for tonight! :D

Next week is finals and one is a take home and the other is an in-class exam. Two finals this semester. Not bad!

Hello Blog World :)

This is my maiden voyage into the blogging realm and so far, so good! I'm excited to start getting this whole thing figured out and I'll be posting more soon.

Loves to you all!